It’s a hard life – slurping from a personalised water bottle and trying to decide whether to sit on a swinging seat or a bean bag. I’d love to see inside those fridges because you don’t see them eat much do you? Their bodies look sculpted, but should their diets change now they’re enclosed within the villa?

Here’s the answers to all the love islander’s nutrition quandaries (because I’m sure they’re just as concerned about this stuff as they are about their love life).

Should I avoid carb?

Avoiding carbs can save you calories, as can avoiding protein or fat or alcohol. You can do without carbs as your body can make it from other things, hence why people following low carb diets do in fact survive. Behind the scenes though a lot of people feel absolutely dreadful and I’m not sure flexing their pecks cheers them up.

High intensity exercise which could include a HIIT session, boxing or sprints around the pool all burn carb as a fuel – because it is the only energy source available to the body when exercising at high intensity. Repeatedly exercising in this way and not eating sufficient glucose forces the body to make carb from other nutrients – namely amino acids. These aren’t used to support muscle building if they’re being broken down and used as a fuel. Ever wondered why you are training hard, feeling tired and not seeing a change in body shape? In fact, you may be gaining weight if you’re not in a calorie deficit and consuming too much fat or protein relative to your body’s needs.

Let’s also not forgetting glucose is the brain’s preferred fuel. Low carb diets can leave you feeling irritable, foggy, lethargic and shall we talk about your bowel movements?

Love Island top tip: You may need to adjust your carb intake – as you are probably less active and not doing as much high intensity training as you were in normal life. I wouldn’t avoid it completely though. A constipated individual lacking good banter who may have smelly breath is not likely to ‘couple’ easily.

Should I eat loads of protein?

Eat some, eat it often and keep it lean. You don’t need to take a protein shake into the shower or eat omelettes constantly. High protein foods can often carry additional fats which if eaten in too large a portion will contribute more calories than perhaps you need. This does unfortunately mean cottage cheese is a good choice.

Love Island top tip: Regulate your protein across the day and if you weigh more, you’ll need more. Include protein in your snacks too but don’t put half a cow on your plate at dinner time, it’s unnecessary and not very attractive.

Should I avoid fruit because it’s got loads of sugar in it?

It is difficult to grasp how social media can successfully turn people against fruit when it is unequivocally known that fruit and veg is proven to reduce risks of our biggest disease killers, not to mention the links with improved mood. It contains fructose, yes and it also contains fibre, vitamins, minerals and phytochemicals e.g. polyphenols all known to protect health.

Love Island top tip: If you’re looking for longevity in lurve get your 5 a day in (including veggies too). This is the simplest way to improve your health. Some fruits, for examples berries have been linked with improved brain function too so you can impress new island inhabitants with your wit and good chat.

And finally…

Love Island top tip for myself: Stop watching Love Island and get a life!